A Week on Fire Island

And our second wedding....

Trip to California for an Ogawa family reunion and second wedding. fyi I'm 7 months pregnant in these pix!

Moon of Honey

We got back from St. Martin. Not much to say except it was amazing and beautiful and we definitely want to go back! the pictures speak for themselves....

Off to St. Martin

Oh hello.
By the way, I got married a few weeks ago.
I'm going on my honeymoon to St. Martin tomorrow. Boy am I looking forward to nothing but beachiness.

Mah Jongg Christmas!

This morning we gave everybody their gifts: We'd gotten Milo this awesome Paul Frank hoodie with dinosaur scales up the center of the hood; a digital photo display for the parents; a Muji document holder for Karin; and a book for Melvin.


Then we played tennis. It was a really beautiful day, so warm and sunny!

Last night we'd dug up an old set of mah-jongg tiles and looked up the rules on the internet. Tonight we played three rounds. So fun!
It's actually a lot like the game Beanie, which I've been obsessed with for years...

I can't believe Irwin won the last game!!

Christmas in Nashville

I'm spending Christmas holiday with the Taiwanese atheists in Nashville, Tennessee, the Chen family!
Because we are combining this trip with our trip to Monterey, our flight to Nashville was broken into two legs.
The weather here is pretty unseasonably warm but grey and rainy.


This morning we went shopping for paella ingredients with Irwin's parents Fu-Ming and Katherine and Milo, Irwin's almost 2-year-old nephew, who is, hands-down, the star of the family. He is so articulate and lucid! He is the best.



We decided that this would be a good time for Milo to get a haircut.



End result:
CUTE!

Why is smoking healthy in Europe?

Sure, the cigarette packs still say stuff like "SMOKING KILLS" (in the native language of course) but that doesn't stop men, women, boys and girls, grandmas and grandpas from smoking everywhere and anywhere! It kind of reminded me of Japan in the 1980s where people smoked everywhere, in restaurants, departments stores, train stations, etc. (Now, you can hardly smoke anywhere in Japan except in little designated boxes). In the guidebook I had on Spain, it said that they had finally passed a law that made it illegal to smoke in restaurants -- but I did not see this law enforced anywhere I ate.

There is something amazing about the different mentality of how to enjoy life in Spain, though. The nation-wide (mandatory) siesta from 2pm - 5pm. Wine with lunch, party til 2am. Play is as important as work -- whereas in NY it feels as though play IS work. I feel like the smoking thing is part of it. Smoking in NY, it's like you are an evil anti-social person who is going to die imminently of horrible cancer, versus smoking in Spain, you are a lover of life and enjoy yourself like anybody else. Irwin thinks it's the difference between the guilt-ridden puritanical thinking of Protestants and the Catholics (whose guilt is absolved on a regular basis?).

Asian in Europe

I saw Vicky Christina Barcelona with Irwin last week, after we returned from Spain. Asides from what I thought about the film on an artistic level, what struck me was (and as in most Woody Allen films) was that all of these characters were like super white and super wealthy.
Ok but that's not my point. The movie presented certain ideas/ideals/ideologies that we as Americans tend to associate with Europe --- that they are way more progressive in their thinking, and stuff. Which might be true -- in a lot of ways does seem true, on the surface at least. But one thing I kept thinking about in Spain was "WOW am I like the only Asian person here, or what?" OK there was a small Filipino community there. But besides them, the only other Asians I ever saw were these Chinese people who would appear on street corners after midnight to sell soda, beer, bottled water, and sometimes even sandwiches from cardboard or plastic boxes. It was so weird. Where were these people during the day time? And how did this thing start, where they would stand on street corners selling sandwiches to clubbers and other late-night partyers?

Another phenomenon -- though I only saw a handful of serious Asian food restaurants, there were, in both Madrid and Barcelona, these fast-food-type franchises that had the word "wok" in their name. Like Take a Wok, Wok and Walk, Wok and Roll. I guess they were marketed as quick and healthy stir-fry joints.
I just thought this was kind of weird too.

don't get me wrong...

Despite my most recent cryptic blog post titles, I had an amazing time in Spain, truly. It was intense, challenging, life-changing, heart and mind-opening. My patience and resourcefulness were tested. I got to spend time and fall in love with a remarkable group of young artists. I got to spend every waking (and possibly sleeping) moment for 2 full weeks, entirely absorbed in making a work of theater (no even my own shows got that kind of attention). And the food, when I was able to eat, was delicious. There's a lot of stuff to process, for sure, and I'd like to keep track of these thoughts here.

I miss the sense of time and days in Spain, and the way the each meal framed a segment of time. The cafe con leche and pastry in the morning, the lunch at 2pm followed by siesta til 5pm, dinner never beginning before 9pm. Most days, from our hostal downtown, we could hear people carousing in the streets til easily 4am. A culture that takes what Americans consider "leisure" (time to eat, time to nap, time to drink wine and party) just as seriously as it takes WORK. Context, context, context.

Today's bonus pic:
Irwin and I stumbled upon this beautifully lit building in Barcelona on our first night there. I think it's like city hall or something?

p.s. my camera died the day before we came back to NY, so there are two whole days in Barcelona that went undocumented by me...

whirlwind end to Madrid

I'm sorry I hadn't felt much like blogging during the final days in Madrid, partially because I was just so damned busy and exhausted everyday (or too busy playing cards) and also because Irwin came out here and he is, to my knowledge, the only person who was consistently checking my blog in the first place. I will try to back track a bit -- but also at this point I have no idea what day it is, or how much time has passed.

Gearing up towards tech in the theater was a kind of nightmare. The theater was understaffed and limited, and also with the huge misunderstanding about what was going to happen there in the first place, and not having the cooperation of the Artistic Director of the theater, everything kind of came to a screeching halt.

Dealing with projections was a fucking nightmare. I have truly learned my lesson here. I am not a technician, I am not specializing in video or computers or anything at all, but somehow I became responsible for the video images in our piece, which meant that I had to give a shit about the way things were set up. The placement of the projector could never be solidified/set, which meant that EVERY SINGLE DAY the projector had to be tested and re-set, and images re-adjusted for that day's set-up. Never never never again. Here is Valerie, dealing with the same thing,
In the evening after a long long tech day during which not much occurred, we had to attend the opening ceremony of the World Congress. The venue of the congress had to be changed at the last minute (?) or at least I had not been aware of this change since 3 weeks ago, so by the time we located it, the speeches had already begun inside. Outside there were these awesome stilted puppets, representing historical figures from Spanish history.
There was a reception with booze and apps afterwards, but by the time we got out of there, all the restaurants were closed (plus it was Monday, so most places were closed anyway) and I had to go to bed without dinner that night. This was not the first or only night this happened.

The next day (Tuesday) we had another tech day. These tech days I can't remember what we did except wait around. I think there may have been some attempt at running, but actually I don't think so. Emilya had scored us all tickets to the hottest show in town, so we all tried to get out shit together to go. Juan and Esther look at the map and discuss the closest route to the theater as Kevin looks on, disconcerted.
This was the show we saw -- by a pretty famous theater company, known for their spectacle. This particular piece was about (and in fact emulated) the 2002 Chechen takeover of a Russian theater. Drawing parallels to Russian history and contemporary acts of terrorism -- it would have been an interesting piece if the surtitles weren't so difficult to read, and if there were a further point to be made in the script, besides the comparison and attempt at humanizing the terrorists.

These last few days I found great relief in card-playing with the b-boys. I guess it started when I was getting a picture file from Liam in his room when he pulled out a deck of cards, and then it was over. We played many games, but in particular one called Pest (a lot like UNO) and another unnamed game which requires a lot of gesturing and speed. Good times. Every night Abdel would stumble home around 2am with stinky feet and join the game at hand.
On opening night, we were called for a run at 6pm. During the day I went shopping with Liam -- or more like I helped Liam shop for a suit, which he purchased at ZARA.

Backstage before opening night. his was after I'd had another crying fit in the courtyard over the insanity of it all, and just pure exhaustion.
The boys' dressing room.
And after the show:
We went out for drinks, and that was very nice, but again we ran into the problem that all the restaurants closed before we could get a proper meal. So much to my dismay, I ended up having to eat this nasty sandwich we got out of the vending machine at the youth hostal. Supposed to be salami and cheese or something??
The next day (Thursday) was our day off -- and Irwin arived in Madrid. After moving into another hostal in a different part of town, we met up with some folks for some "site-seeing".

Liam in the Metro.

The boys in front of the Palace.
Liam in air.
Juan dry-humping an ice cream cone.
After the boys spent a good couple of hours taking photos of themselves doing all sorts of tricks in front of monuments, they were thirsty. So we stopped at this tourist trap of a cafe where a Coca Cola was 3.50 Euro ($5US???).
Later this afternoon we went to the Reina Sofia and saw some Dali and Guernica, but by this point Irwin's jetlag was geting to him. We took a nap and then later went to an awesome Basque tapas place. (Pics of this on Irwin's picasa page).

The next day, before the show, we met up with Juan and Esther and kevin for lunch. But before that, we stopped at this bakery for coffee, and I noticed how small the holes in the Spanish bagels were!!!!! wtf?!
Our call was 6pm (for a 9pm show?!) so Irwin came with me to the theater and then sat across the street with his beer.

Backstage, Vita on headset calling the cues...
After the show, there was general chaos in getting everything out of the theater, showing up at the reception sponsored by the Croatian Embassy. All of us were staying another full day for the post-mortem, except Juan who was leaving the next morning. So after playing a round of cards,
We went out until he had to catch a taxi to the airport at 4.30AM. We tried to find a club to go dancing, but everything was gross or had a cover, or overcrowded or whatever, so we just wandered around and went into a Dominican restaurant that had 1E beers.
Esther & Juan hugging goodbye.

I was also so sad to see Juan go -- he had been my buddy during this whole trip. It's hard to believe that i won't be able to just walk downstairs and knock on his door, have lunch with him, or drag him across the floor in a big piece of fabric.

Saturday morning Irwin and I had churros dipped in chocolate for breakfast. Sickness.
I went over to give Robert a massage, and then we headed to our last supper at Extramadura -- the same place where we had our first dinner together. Andres & Gunther.
In the evening, we caught a part of the closing ceremony of the Congress. Sylvia and Esther.
Paloma & Sai.
This was to be our last night all together! Paloma, Esther, Kevin, Irwin and I went all the way to the youth hostal to pick up the boys, who we knew would need some persuasion to come out with us. Paloma in the elevator.
When we got to the youth hostal, they were like, no we're not going out. I couldn't believe it. I took a picture of them sitting on their beds, thinking that this was how I was going to remember them.
Robert was watching The Simpsons.
But somehow, miraculously, we got them to come out with us -- and the bar was kinda far away too, we had to take the subway! But they came. yeay!


At a bar near Reina Sofia, we had a last round of drinks. I said goodbye to Valerie.Group photo.
Half of us went to go dancing, but I was beat. I bid Robert and Liam farewell at El Brillante.
Irwin and I got our midnight snack here -- their famous calamari sandwich. It could have used a bucketload of tartar sauce. I was like "tiene salsa de tartar?" but they did not understand.
The next morning after 3 hours of sleep we got up to take the high-speed train to Barcelona. I was so fucking bleary-eyed and sad and delirious...
Some pics of Barcelona at night:
Amazing Celta Bar pulpo:
Irwin trying to cure his hiccups.

I have Rihana's song "Umbrella" stuck in my head, and it won't go away.
It will take a while for me to make sense of all that happened to me in the last 2 weeks. Only two weeks?!?! Unbelievable. It felt like a year, honestly. It's amazing how much can happen in such a short period of time...

I spoke too soon

Well, let me just say that the challenges in this piece have not much improved. We open tomorrow, believe it or not, and the whole thing feels bizarre, absurd, magical at times, but just really.... like... weird. Most of the logisitcal problems stem from poor communication and misunderstandings from the theater venue. And the artistic disappointments come from the directors not coming from a collaborative theater-making background. Today there was drama galore. I don't even want to get into it.

Suffice it to say that being here has forced me to do things i would never ordinarily do. Drink coffee twice a day, drink wine every night, stay up til 4am and get up at 9am. Not a sustainable lifestyle...

no photos worth posting. mostly of people in the theater.

WOW possibly the worst day ever

Today, was so nerve-wracking and frustrating and compounded with a lot of different things and overwhelmed by a lot of shit, I spent a good hour or two crying, which was actually great because I hadn't had a terrifically good cry in years. Juan was with me while I was crying on the street, so I'm sure about a dozen Spanish people thought we were breaking up. ha.

Then just as I was getting finished crying in my room Liam (one of the b-boys helping me with video stuff) came knocking on my door. Embarrassing.

Anyway, why so frustrating? Our first scene (made by the U.S. team) was conceived and re-conceived already a few times, and the latest incarnation was very much influenced by conversations with the Belgian Valerie who is handling video for the whole show, and who supposedly know how to use Isadora. She showed us how she can manipulate video and images in projections, changing their positions and sizes as we went along. The other day we had a really frustrating rehearsal because essentially all rehearsal was moot without being able to be in the theater with the projector in the correct placement. Today finally we have a chunk of time in the theater, the projector was in place (sort of) and suddenly we discovered different limitations to the video and use of Isadora. I srsly wanted to blow my brains out. We go into tech in 2 days, our first show is in 4 days, we have not DONE this scene for real, EVER, and what the fuck am I doing in this place in the first place? I had one of those crazy like flashback-life-collapsing moments... I was remembering all those stressful times with the WOW company, working in a foreign country, and being with a tight group of amazing artists, and how much LOVE is born out of working in the theater, and how heart-breaking it is to have art be so imperfect and ephemeral, and how much people grow apart... I think about so many people I've met who really changed me or moved me, and now I have no idea where they are... And on and on... I feel so lucky, and so cursed, and just so full of intense like.... I don't know what to call it.

I have always worried about how intensely I experience my emotions and thought that I'd pretty much had it under control, but today I felt like I was back being 23 years old again. This is a difficult project led by people who have never led such a project before -- the raw energy and magic of th ensemble is so immense and ineffable -- and there seems to be no way to aptly capture this thing, this amazing, magical wonderful electricity of a group of people (a community) -- this thing that is the reason why people do theater in the first place, and the thing that also disappoints people so much and causes them to leave the theater.

I think we have some possible solutions to the video problem, but again I feel uneasy at being responsible for video images when I am not a video or visual artists perse. Oh well. So it goes in Madrid.

I will leave you with some pics of the stupid night we had last night, going dancing in an Irish pub, and tonight, this amazing bookstore around the corner, which is also a cafe and a bar and a club at night.




Ok time to edit more video.

feel like month #2

I'm utterly useless and non-existent without the internet, eh? It was down for 24 hours and I couldn't communicate with anyone except the people directly around me. It used to be like that for everyone. What happened?

I can't even keep track of all that's happened. Anyway a lot of this and that, the directors imposing, the other resisting, I do not feel that this is a piece that is being generated collaboratively, but rather being cobbled together somewhat collaboratively. I do not feel that there is an agreement about what it is trying to be accomplished.

Went and got paella with a group, two nights ago. Excellent! Sylvia and Paloma, the Spanish contingent.

Then we went out for fancy ice cream. Here is Abdel -- the life and baby of the production. Serisouly this guy is NON STOP energy -- a walking, continuous youtube.
Valery in rehearsal yesterday.
The "internet cafe" we are making off stage. We are supposed to be always on stage surrounding the action...
After rehearsal, Marco & Liam hanging off a tree.
I feel utterly destroyed in the mornings. Physically and otherwise.
Wish we could have started in a place BEFORE concept, BEFORE choreography, where everyone who is going to BE on stage could have met on stage just as they are/were. Strip away the skill sets.

Must run to rehearsal now. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Hell to Heaven in a day

Before I bore you to death with details of artistic strife, I will show lovely portraits of the artist teams from each country except for the U.S. team which you've seen plenty of already. Here are the Germans, from left to right: Kevin (opera singer), Jochen (composer), Esther (opera singer), Gunther (yes the one and only), and Frank (opera director).
The Belgium team -- Valery! One person, awesome video artist.
From Cameroon: Andray, Evelyn, and Valery.
Spain: Paloma & Sylvia -- who is an amazing actress.
From the Phillippines: Sai (dancer) and Ruell (musician)
So. I don;t know, an incredibly frustrating morning rehearsal -- discovering the limitations of the technology & video... and just dealing with the weird structure of this project in terms of decision-making... These "collaborations" with directors... like... may I quote one of my own plays and say, yes "theater is not a democracy" for sure, but also there are ways to organize in a way that still respects and encourages creativity, rather than suppressing such. The Europeans seem to conceptualize so much, they don't trust the real live on-the-feet solutions. It's a shame, actually...

Anyway, in the morning I thought I might murder someone or myself, and the afternoon was frustrating in certain ways as well, but in the evening we went out for the first time with the German opera singers, both 26 years old. We had a great lovely time at La Musa restaurant, which was actually some kind of weird Asian fusion place that served... venison. Ah, but before dinner, we went to a bar next door and had a drink. Everywhere, the red wine is delicious.

Juan holding what I thought might be a bagel but was not, I don't think...
Kevin the German opera singer, Juan, and Valery.
Kevin and Kevin the opera singer, when we were checking out the bathroom area. There was like a tunnel of bamboo curtains.
Venison.
on our way home we ran into two of the b-boys having a smoke, and then we crammed ourselves into the little elevator. Robert, who can do AMAZING things, and Liam, who can also do AMAZING things, and Valery, who is a stand-up comedian as well as an actor.
some moments i am like what the fuck am i doing here?? and other moments, i'm like (as Juan is practically ALL the time...) this is amazing and wonderful.
my shoulders hurt, i have bruises and wounds all over my feet and legs. another day tomorrow of artistic strife and the test of the human spirit. good night.

Working Day 3 or something?

First of all, look at what we have available to us as breakfast at the youth hostal: coffee, tang and little muffins....
Here is a pic of the hostal from the 4th floor where Hana and I stay. The square windows -- eerily similar to the Hotel Washington I stayed in in Tokyo, no?
Productive morning rehearsal, figuring out a sequence for images and monologues in different languages about identity.
At lunch I went to the phoe store where Hana and Juan were buying phones. I looked down at my feet and noticed how disgusting they were.
At afternoon rehearsal, here is the Netherlands team, Ellen with ISH.
Trying to take a photo of the b-boys is like trying to photograph a shooting star. Pretty sure that is Liam in that blur.
The Camaroonian piece, with Andre in the striped, Evelyn in the center and Valery in red.
After rehearsal we went to this awesome old-school taberna and had some specialty dishes, including deep-fried eggplant with honey, and pata negra, some kind of dried/cured pig leg thinly sliced. It was pretty awesome.We wanted more so we walked down to Puerta de Sol, the center of the city. Passed by this gi-normous ham shop. This city is ALL ABOUT the pig, man.
Ended in a bar. Any house red wine will do much good, and usually for a Euro and a half. Me, Valery and Juan. Everyone here smokes, and all my clothes get smokey.
I am so tired.
Oh so today we had African dancing warm-up. Awesome.
I forgot what it's like to be an actor. Actually great pleasure in just manifesting yourself. I don't know how else to explain. Also waking up thinking about the piece and rolling over in my bed and talking to Hana about it, first thing -- what a wonderful luxury, to be able to spend practically 24 hours a day just thinking about a piece. Even my own plays don't get this kind of attention from me. This is how it should be, for God's sake.

The process is inevitably frustrating, at times magical, sometimes tedious. But I feel good, still coming out with admiration for the people here -- especially the people on the U.S. team with me. Hana, for being always calm, clear-minded, direct without getting exasperated; Juan for always maintaining a positive enthusiasm and spirit of yes yes yes. I feel like I am trying to learn how to have fun again.

Working Day #2: Chaos and Contradiction

Now I've gotten past the phase of being in love with this city.

So back tracking for a moment. Last night after dinner Juan and I went strolling around Madrid and I found a Muji store! Nice to know.
In the morning Juan, Hana and I refined the interrogation section of our piece, figured out how we can transition out of the Jordanian film, and recorded a new voice file. Of course this probably means absolutely nothing to anyone except for me and Hana and Juan.. I'll try to post a vid when we get something finalized... The idea was that we would work in our groups in the morning and come together in the afternoon.

For lunch Juan and I went just around the corner to this awesome, very Spanish like, restaurant full of Spanish business men who seemed to be there for hours eating and smoking and hours later still smoking on the sidewalk outside the place. Juan had this huge-ass steak that was practically raw. I had a steak too, it was quite nice. But expensive.

In the afternoon, rehearsal started off pretty great with hip-hop dance. We were all so friggin sweaty after dancing for an hour or whatever, esp under the halogen lights, but it was great fun to be up on our feet and playing. After that, each of the teams were given some time to try to incorporate other team members into their piece. We were able to sketch out our ideas, but there was also a lot of sitting around. By the end there was a lot of conflict about how people were using each other. Like, the b-boys were being used everywhere, the opera singing was being used irresponsibly, people were making unreasonable tech demands. Well this is not the complete picture, but there was definitely an artistic direction crisis at hand, where the idea of integration was not working as well as everyone had hoped, and that people were feeling like the integration was blowing their wad so to speak, or stealing their thunder, kind of. But for chrissake, it's like this is our second day working together, and we're not really in a place to start making editting decisions yet. A lot of MEN (white) talking a lot and stroking their egos... Thankfully I'm not a part of the director's group, although I kind of wish I were, but then again I'm sure I would have killed some people by now? Why can't we all just get along?

The evening was much better -- first of all Juan and I found THE nerd store where I bought my brother a birthday present (Darth Vadar t-shirt) and I was this -- Oasmu Tezuka in Spanish. Rock on.
At night we looked in our guide book and planned to go out to this restaurant -- we took the subway and walked to the address -- but it was closed! Friggin Monday! but then we walked around and found a sweet place outdoors. We had ham croquettes, salad wth mango and shrimp, steak and eggs and potatoes, and red peppers stuffed with goat cheese. Yes a great food day, and the asshole that I am, I didn't take any photos. Sorry! But here is Kevin and Juan -- who, by the way has been eating SO MUCH ice cream every night that we joke that i may not be able to drag him across stage the way I have to, if he keeps up this level of helado consumption.
By the time we finished dinner (past midnight) the kitchen was closed and they weren't serving dessert. So we took the subway 4 stops to go to this amazing ice cream and cocktail lounge we'd been walking by on our way to the theater every day.
The place was closing as we arrived but they let us buy ice creams to go. They were amazing. Here is Juan having his second ice cream of the day.
They also had this huge UFO-platter full of truffles. I'm usually not a sweets person, but this place was pretty cool. Plus they have wi-fi! DANGER.

That's all for now -- hoping for a better rehearsal day tomorrow. Although the frustration and tension is inevitable, I also hope that we work through discussion to a place where everyone is happy and working at their highest level of artistic integrity, without some tyrannical imposition.

Everyday I feel SO TIRED by the pm, but then feel awake and energetic around midnight. We've been here only a few days, but it already feels like weeks. So much happens in the day, and it's all broken up by siesta and such... Also I haven't been able to chat with Irwin all day today, it's driving me crazy.

Working Day #1

An amazing rehearsal day, I am stupid I should have taken more pictures. But it's hard to be present and also documenting, you know? Also, it is amazing enough that I managed to stay awake throughout the day. We began the morning session at 10.30AM, at the Galileo Theater, which is a spacious and lovely facility. The theater is very nice, cut, it kind of reminded me of the Connelly Theater on E 4th St. except with a bit more height or airiness.
We began the morning by first discussing and sharing the root ideas/inspiration of our work for the project. We'd all been given the same "starting points" document that asked many questions about how we represent ourselves in the world, especially in light of technology that permeates our lives. It was good to hear everyone's concerns, and their artistic intentions for what they'd prepared.
By the time we got through each group it was 2PM. We had reserved a place across the street for lunch. We crossed the street and there was our huge-ass banquet table, set up right there on the sidewalk!!!! Friggin' awesome.
It was hard to resist siesta after this lovely sunlit lunch. The weather has been quite nice, beautiful skies and warm. Here are the ISH B-boys catching some rays.


They are like my favorite people right now.

Then in the afternoon session, we all showed our presentations. SO many ideas, and images, so many aspects of identity (cultural, artistic, personal, political) explored and yet several common threads through many pieces -- use of physical materials (swath of white cloth, yellow yarn) masks, music, dance, ritual.Again I didn't take any pics of the really awesome shit. Will try to get it together tomorrow.

Madrid Day One

I am writing from Madrid, here on the culminating leg of the project I'd been working on in Oregon. I've not even been here 24 hours, but so many different things have happened, and I've felt so many different things I don't know how to express them all.

I got on the plane at Newark, which is such a pain in the ass to get to, but I thought for the first time, was not a bad airport -- in fact it seems much calmer than JFK. The thing about flying east is that you fly forward into the "future" so we were flying into a sunrise.
I barely slept on the plane. Flying over Madrid, the city seemed very spacious and flat. I was supposed to take a taxi from the airport to the hostel we were staying, but once I got off the plane I decided to take the Metro. My initial reactions to Madrid: I love it here!!! On the Metro everything is like orange and green and pink, very clean. Out on the street, beautiful buildings. Reminded me a little bit of Berlin, but not bombed out. Plus my 6 years of middle & high school Spanish is actually paying off now!

I checked into the youth hostel, and then fell into a few hours of fitful sleep -- so mcuh noise going on, terrible 90's alt-rock blaring in the corridor. I got up around 5PM to buy a toothbrush. The only plan for the day was to have dinner with everyone at 9PM. Apparently dinner NEVER happens before 9PM. Also all the stores are closed from 2PM - 5PM for siesta. Waaaa!!!!
I met up with my "team mates" Hana, Juan and Kevin in the afternoon, and we went over some updates. There were some problems with the rehearsal & production. Oh, like, the theater we are supposed to be rehearsing & performing in had recently lost its artistic director and had put its entire staff on break. Great! Also many of the artists had been going through HELL just to get to Madrid -- the Filipinos had to re-book their flight because they needed a special visa (which they didn't have) in order to transfer flights in Amsterdam -- and the Cameroonians having to pay an additional 400 Euro at the airport even though all of their visas and paperwork were in order. (Not clear on what the problem is, vague references to political/bureaucratic corruption) Somehow, none of this was surprising to me. And I also knew that Emilya was fighting to get everything to work out. The woman needs a masseuse to follow her around the world.

At 9PM we went to this restaurant (I am running out of time, so I will speed blog). They didn't let us in for a while because they weren't ready for us.
There was a full moon. Today was also the once-a-year huge all-night arts festival called La Noche en Blanco (The Night in White) where there were performances and art museums open all night til 7AM.
At dinner I just kept looking up and down the table, such a great vibe, and artists from all over the world. SO EXCITING.
Here are Juan (U.S.), Liam (Netherlands) and Kevin (Germany).
A surprise entrance by Gunther!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unbelievable food and dessert (all food pix for shit).
Frank, the German director -- great to see him, since he was also in Manila 2 years ago. And on the right, Marcos, the hip-hop director/performer, Filipino raised in Belgium, now in Amsterdam. He had such amazing energy, and great stories.
Juan, Hana and I ventured into the night. There was going to be a man walking a tightrope across two buildings. THOUSANDS of people on the street. The tightrope however, did not happen, as the wind was too strong. Mob scene almost killed us.

What happaned in Oregon?

Boy I seriously pooped out on blogging my trip to Oregon. Mostly because I was working the whole time and didn't have a whole lot of tangible activity to report. Here's our beautifully sunlit room in which we spent most of day 2 & 3. There were many beautiful meals, because Emilya always makes sure that we are extremely well fed...
And there were several shows we caught at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, the highlight of which was Arthur Miller's A View from the Bridge, which Juan was in. I'd forgotten how great Miller is, and was surprised at how Shakespearean in tragedy this play is

Theatrical collaboration, especially with people who you don't know very well, and with different backgrounds can be extremely challenging... ESPECIALLY when there is no designation of each person's role in the process and no hierarchy of decision-making in place. I feel fortunate that the two people I'm working with on the U.S. team of Ifdentity are very intelligent, imaginative, reasonable, resourceful and, basically, game.

I regret that we may have spent too much of our time talking about ideas and structures, and not enough time on our feet, figuring out the details of arc and what actually works (and doesn't work). Although we came out of the weekend (and are going into our trip to Spain next week) without a definite structure to our "piece", we do have strong scene-ideas and elements.

A bit I particularly liked was a sequence we made with the 10 yards of ivory muslin. The fabric is light and sturdy enough that we can mask our faces with it, drag each other across the floor on it, wrap ourselves and each other in it.

And then there were these masks...

working it out

Grey, mostly overcast day today, considerably colder than it was yesterday.We were back in our first working day today, refreshing our memories and throwing out a lot of new ideas. During our last work session in April, our exploration of "identity" led us to these thoughts:

Identity is a construct that is fluid and changes based on context. In other words, in the absence of relationship (whether with another individual or with any other entity) identity is moot. One identifies him/herself IN RELATION to an‘other’ -- the ‘other‘ is essential for the process of definition. The other can be an individual, a culture, the state, an institution, God, any other entity; anything that exists outside the self.

Identity functions on several levels – the personal, the socio-political, and the virtual. Identity may be forced upon an individual from the outside, or can be internally generated by the individual. The act of imposing identity begins with the impulse, whether external or internal, to examine , define, or label the individual. The process of constructing an identity to interface with the ‘other’ eventually becomes a process of compartmentalization, categorization and ultimately, fragmentation. The constructed identity (or avatar) can never be/represent the whole that is the person.

American Identity

As “Americans” we are citizens of a nation of immigrants. The mythology of the American Dream is founded on the belief in the freedom to succeed through hard work, without the constraints imposed by class, caste, race, or ethnicity. The reality is that we are essentially a nation of “others” attempting to establish a community and stake claim to our piece of the American Pie. The question of cultural/ethnic/racial identity becomes an imperative which sparks great anxiety, segregation, pride, confusion, contention and dissension. Name, race, facial and physical features are not definitive markers but become elusive signifiers of identification. The question that is repeatedly asked of us is: Where are you from? As if the subject cannot be a person of native origin or does not belong here. As Americans, displacement seems to be part of the given circumstances. Within that, hierarchies and power struggles emerge.

From here, we were filtering through some other ideas -- What is the theatrical identity, theatrical tradition in the U.S., and how do we as artists set ourselves in relation to these?
We shared a bunch of classic American movie clips with each other, since the tradition of cinema, we felt, was one of the strongest performance traditions in this country. Here are some highlights:






We also had this amazing swath of creme colored gauze fabric, which we were playing around with, veiling/unveiling, imprisoning, dragging each other's bodies across the floor with.

In the evening we got to see Our Town in the Globe Theater. It was very chilly in the evening, but beautiful. One of my favorite plays, actually, and one of my favorite playwrights. In fact the production of The Skin of Our Teeth that we put on in high school may have been one of the reasons I continued to pursue theater. Anyway, in the Globe, during the black outs, you could see the stars filling out the sky. Beautiful.