working it out

Grey, mostly overcast day today, considerably colder than it was yesterday.We were back in our first working day today, refreshing our memories and throwing out a lot of new ideas. During our last work session in April, our exploration of "identity" led us to these thoughts:

Identity is a construct that is fluid and changes based on context. In other words, in the absence of relationship (whether with another individual or with any other entity) identity is moot. One identifies him/herself IN RELATION to an‘other’ -- the ‘other‘ is essential for the process of definition. The other can be an individual, a culture, the state, an institution, God, any other entity; anything that exists outside the self.

Identity functions on several levels – the personal, the socio-political, and the virtual. Identity may be forced upon an individual from the outside, or can be internally generated by the individual. The act of imposing identity begins with the impulse, whether external or internal, to examine , define, or label the individual. The process of constructing an identity to interface with the ‘other’ eventually becomes a process of compartmentalization, categorization and ultimately, fragmentation. The constructed identity (or avatar) can never be/represent the whole that is the person.

American Identity

As “Americans” we are citizens of a nation of immigrants. The mythology of the American Dream is founded on the belief in the freedom to succeed through hard work, without the constraints imposed by class, caste, race, or ethnicity. The reality is that we are essentially a nation of “others” attempting to establish a community and stake claim to our piece of the American Pie. The question of cultural/ethnic/racial identity becomes an imperative which sparks great anxiety, segregation, pride, confusion, contention and dissension. Name, race, facial and physical features are not definitive markers but become elusive signifiers of identification. The question that is repeatedly asked of us is: Where are you from? As if the subject cannot be a person of native origin or does not belong here. As Americans, displacement seems to be part of the given circumstances. Within that, hierarchies and power struggles emerge.

From here, we were filtering through some other ideas -- What is the theatrical identity, theatrical tradition in the U.S., and how do we as artists set ourselves in relation to these?
We shared a bunch of classic American movie clips with each other, since the tradition of cinema, we felt, was one of the strongest performance traditions in this country. Here are some highlights:






We also had this amazing swath of creme colored gauze fabric, which we were playing around with, veiling/unveiling, imprisoning, dragging each other's bodies across the floor with.

In the evening we got to see Our Town in the Globe Theater. It was very chilly in the evening, but beautiful. One of my favorite plays, actually, and one of my favorite playwrights. In fact the production of The Skin of Our Teeth that we put on in high school may have been one of the reasons I continued to pursue theater. Anyway, in the Globe, during the black outs, you could see the stars filling out the sky. Beautiful.

Back in Ashland, OR

I am in Oregon now. It's been 3 months since I was last here, to work on the Ifdentity project with these fine folks, but it feels like a year.
Painfully early flight out of JFK, I had to get up at 4.30am. I met up with Hana and Emilya at the airport, where for some reason, the Westin Hotel was giving out complimentary blankets and pillows. ???
I slept through most of the flight out to SFO. There, Emilya took us into the Red Carpet Club, or whatever it's called -- the business class lounge, or preferred member lounge. Little did I know that it would be a whole alternate universe inside the airport! We went through some very inconspicuous doors that opened into a grand hallway. It felt like we had stepped into a hotel. The lounge itself was pretty simple, but nice. Big cushy chairs, plenty of outlets, complimentary refreshments, etc. We got to Medford, and the weather is amazing, gorgeously dry and warm. The Oregon Shakespeare Festival is in full swing. After picking up groceries at the food co-op, we unloaded our things in the apartments where we are staying in town (not Buckhorn Springs) and met up with Juan at Amuse Restaurant.
We had been here the last time too -- the food is quite amazing. Extensive wine list, local cheeses, and this time we were in the outside patio where we ate to the accompaniment of a live classical guitarist. Here is Juan looking mighty apprehensive.

We kind of on top of the hill, just a few blocks away from the theaters. The view is amazing.
Emilya and Kevin were going to see the 3 hour 15 minute Othello in the Globe Theater. Hana and I went to catch Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.


But I'm still feeling groggy from all the traveling. I had just spent the last 5 days trying to get back onto NY time, and here I am again on the west coast.
Tomorrow we begin rehearsals.

the sky flying back to ny from cali

Big Sur briefly

On our last full day in California, Irwin and I drove down to Big Sur, arguably one of the most beautiful places on earth. We had been thinking about some part of our wedding celebration taking place there -- but outright camping seemed like a difficult option with our urbanized family and such. I mean it would certainly be a strong choice, but one that would dictate a lot about how everything would be structured.


Here Irwin is with his latte, standing in front of a big redwood tree. Below you can see the fire damage from the recent forest fires that swept through California. It was pretty amazing to see so much of the land just scorched. And so close to Highway 1.
One beautiful option was Big Sur Lodge. Located at the mouth of Julia Pfeiffer State Park, this establishments runs a gorgeous restaurant and a few dozen modest cottage/cabins, some with kitchens and fireplaces. There's also a swimming pool. We could imagine a weekend of camping, cooking, swimming and beanie-playing in the forest.
We also wanted to check out the Big Sur Bakery, which my friend Clint and many others on yelp have raved about. Unfortunately we got there at 3pm, 15 minutes after their last seating for brunch. Next time.
For dinner we went out to Casanova in Carmel. One of the plethora of pan-European restaurants in the area. It is a very cute place, a whole dining section with glass ceiling built around some trees. The meal itself was all right, nothing to swoon over.

sickness

I've been sicker since Thursday -- mostly in my throat and sinuses. I guess I never got over the first cold entirely. Stayed in most of the day yesterday and watched some Battle Star Galactica. Cold and grey again...

the hunt

So the main reason Irwin even bothered to come out to Cali this time for such a short visit is so that we could investigate potential wedding locations. I'd done a fair bit of research on-line and had a selection of places, both on the Peninsula and farther south towards Big Sur, I wanted to look at.
In Marina, the farthest northern city among the Monterey cluster, there was the Sanctuary Beach Resort, in the middle of the sand dunes of a nature preserve. The units are spread out over the property, unlike a mongo hotel building, and guests are given a golf cart to get around in. There is also a spa on-site.Kevin gave us a tour of the property, including the short trail to the beach, where their beach wedding ceremonies ordinarily take place. As you can see it was a pretty overcast day. Kevin, who must have been like 20 years old, gave us his very honest opinion about the place. That is was always cold and foggy there, and that a while back, there was a shark attack right off the beach where we were standing -- which was even featured on the Discovery channel. Great.
Next, closer to Monterey (and across the way from a huge shopping outlet housing Costco, Target, and Circuit City) was the Monterey Beach Resort, formerly known to me as the Monterey Beach Hotel. I remembered the place as pretty quaint and rather decrepit (in an old-timey way) when I was invited to an all-county honor student dinner hosted by the Monterey Herald, over 15 years ago.
Now this place had become a Best Western, and near the end of their renovation project. This ocean wall and beach deck would be complete by December 2008.
Pretty glam for a hometown place, I'd say. Valerie, the on-site wedding consultant explained the whole wedding package to us. I mean, if we were different kinds of people, fundamentally, it might have been a perfect situation for us...
We also stopped off at Adventures by the Sea, a company who organizes beach party weddings complete with BBQ, bonfires (both sounding good) and their in-house DJ who would be the MC for the evening. Screeching halt. I could just picture, our families (you know, ASIAN) reacting to some white guy middle-aged DJ on the mic making stupid jokes and stuff.... Disaster.
For lunch we stopped by for fish tacos, which were excellent.

After lunch I took Irwin back to Asilomar, and we both felt it was the right place for us. Secluded in forest and dunes, a walk to the beach, capacity for bonfires, BBQ, ping pong and pool, intimate and in nature, and our guests could stay on site yet be just a few minutes drive away from the rest of Monterey. We could even have the ceremony on the beach if we wanted.
So we put in an application! Wow, very exciting. Seriously I am the least like bride-minded person, so it was a relief to find a great low-key place. Simple and classy and convenient. Fingers crossed.
For dinner we went out to sushi with my Mom and Clint.
We ordered monkfish liver, and it came in a humongous portion. Irwin and I could barely put a dent in it... Generally sushi was pretty good at Akaoni in Carmel.Unfortunately I am sick again. Going to sleep it off...

Irwin arrives

At this point you may be asking if I am going to take pictures of my dog on the beach everyday, and the answer is yes.

This is Kuro before the beach.
This was glorious Carmel beach on Wednesday.
Us at beach.
Look at that smile:
This photo was taken by a very nice woman named Carol who was at the beach with her Doberman. Turns out she is very good friends with the mother of Taylor Mac, who is a fantastic performer whose one-man shows went up at HERE after oph3lia. Small world!
Satisfaction.In the evening I went over to see Clint in Salinas. Catching up on our lives and gossip.His head is not tiny, that is just the camera angle.
I picked up Irwin at San Jose Airport, which was an f*cking nightmare, but then we headed over to La Vic, a taco joint that got rave reviews on yelp.com. If it had been earlier we would have gone to Kayo's parents' place. Alas, we settled for tacos and special orange sauce.The tacos were filling, for sure. But too much meat, if you can believe it. Not a very good balance -- wanted more salsa/pico de gallo/lettuce...

Drove home and arrived near midnight and crashed.

socializing

Another beautiful sunny day! We went to Carmel Beach. Part of the reason I love this beach is that it's a dog park. But people are really good about keeping it clean. On good days, all the folks with bg dogs are out, letting their canines run about. Kuro is very happy to be a part of this. (She is on the far right in this pic)
And the ocean today was so calm and clear... If I had my bathing suit I would have jumped in.
Today we went out for pho with Hiromi, in Seaside.


After lunch she convinced me to look at some possible wedding locations near her home in Pacific Grove. First we went to the something something golf club. Not really into it, but it is near the ocean...Then we went to Asilomar conference Center. I actually quite liked what was happening here. Designed by architect Julia Morgan, all the buildings here (originally designed to be an educational/vocational facility of the YWCA) are built in harmony with their environment. Wood and stone structures, all elegantly designed, and steps away to the beach.
There were several buildings that could hold a ceremony/reception. Here is the inside of the Chapel, for example.
But the seats here are immovable, and there could be no reception here. Hiromi kept calling it classic Northern California style (architecture, aesthetic). I like that.

We dropped her off at her home, where her dog Blue was waiting for her return.In the evening, we had my mom's neighbor over for dinner. Julie is a marine biology phd candidate, living in a big house with her black dog Tara. I made pasta with sausage tomato sauce. She had returned from a wedding in Sri Lanka, and gave us some tea. After dinner I taught her how to play beanie -- she turned out to be quite a card shark!

This was more socializing than I'd done in like 5 days. Wiped out! No work done!
Irwin arrives tomorrow!

finally, the sun

Beautiful day today.


It's funny how being at home changes the feeling and pace of life. Part of it is a conscious or unconscious fighting against slipping into who I was when I actually lived with at home. Who was I? Like an angsty, self-conscious, hot-headed, insecure, hormonally unbalanced, melodramatic teenager? Now I'm just an irritable 30-something-year-old? I spent so much time and energy putting as much distance as I could (emotionally, geographically) between myself and home. Now somehow everything here seems so beautiful and idyllic. Even when cold and foggy.

I have all this work to do, that I haven't even touched. I've fallen into veg-out mode. Help. Sputter.

caught a cold, recovering

Honestly I can't remember the last time I caught a cold. Like a classic, runny nose, sore throat, sinus headache kind. In a way (a perverse way) I feel nostalgic for this "can't breathe through my nose" sensation. Well, sick or no, my dog Kuro expects me to entertain her all the time when I am home. In the morning it takes all her patience to wait for me to get up and eat breakfast. After I'm done, if i haven't put on my socks within 5 minutes, she is howling and barking at me! In the afternoon before her dinner time, it's the same thing. Her first visible sign of anticipation is when she trots up to me and shakes her head vigorously, as if to say "shake off that laziness and come outside!" This is usually followed by a fabulous downward-facing dog. If that doesn't send me running to put on my shoes, then she will berate me vocally and paw at me. Who's the pet and who's the master, I ask you.

Like I said the weather has not been particularly friendly, but here we are on our way to the beach.
And here is Kuro, where she is happiest.
I am pretty happy here too, on Carmel Beach one of my most favorite places in the world. Depite the cold and grey.

in cali

People think California is all balmy weather, palm trees, sunshine and rollerblading on the boardwalk. But it's not. Where I'm from, the Monterey Peninsula, can be cold and foggy, in fact most of the time you need a hoodie or sweater. I couldn't bring my jeans because last night I went to see Hotel Pool and got completely sopping wet. Gotta go shopping. A-choo.

Getting ready for the next flight

Perhaps not the most exotic of destinations, but nonetheless I am looking forward to visiting Monterey on Friday. As always I plan to do minimal packing/preparations for the trip. Stuff 5 pairs of underwear and my laptop into my crummy backpack and make sure my Metrocard's got $5 on it. I'm excited to see my mom and my dog Kuro,


also excited for Irwin to come out there, but very excited to have another respite from work.

one of the best things from japan

It's not even a full week since we got back from Japan, but it feels like months! Sleep has been irregular, my body's been going through wonky things like unexplained hives and lost appetite, and frankly I'm wondering whether I've developed some kind of allergy to New York. Although it's not as if I want to settle down in Japan. It's hard to imagine thriving in that kind of monolithic monoculture that pervades every aspect of life.

But anyway, today I want to introduce my single most treasured purchase I made that brings a piece of Japan back into my Brooklyn home. The towelket.What is "towelket" you ask? It is the pinnacle of comfort, the embodiment of home, something that can invoke a sense of security and wrap you in light warmth. It is the love child of the TOWEL and blanKET, and I can't believe it doesn't exist in the U.S.! I have fond memories of the towelket as a kid growing up in the sweltering heat of Tokyo. Towelkets were the perfect thing to sleep with on those summer nights because they were light, and soaked up your sweat. It's hard to find a towelket big enough for two people, but I found mine at the Muji store in Chofu, double size organic cotton. Heaven!

The danger of the towelket is the temptation to use it as a towel. Please, don't soil your towelket with your runny nose, shower-wet body, dirty dishwater hands or post-coital drip! With proper use the towelket will keep you lightly protected from overactive air conditioners and keep your heat worn body nice, cool and dry.